I had a dream that: Miley Cyrus ate the Ashes of her Unborn

Dreams Get Weird

Indeed. Though sadly they do get even weirder than this.

Don't ask me why or what that might mean, because I have absolutely NO clue. My dreams are a bit muddy at the beginning, but as they progress I can remember more of them. Recently, I've been having the kind of dreams that you wake up to and after a few moments you go "What in the world was that??" And today it was to the flavor of none other than Miley Cyrus' (Cringe) unborn children. Delicious. (Cringing intensifies)

~

For some reason, I was enrolled in this very very large university. The library had two levels, there was a ramp into most buildings (Meaning no doors) and there were a lot of huge buildings. Everything was Gothic style, and it felt like I was stepping into Hogwarts. So, I guess my brain picked up on that and decided to make everything a maze. If there was a school for people who liked mazes, this was the place. If there were a profession for mazes they would go here. Is there a maze-running profession? I feel like someone, somewhere has majored in mazes, or at least puzzles.

Anyway! So I was standing in line at the cafeteria when the lunch lady came out. You know how you'd expect the lunch lady to look - Grumpy, wrinkly, hairy mole. All that stuff, plus she was about 8 feet tall and an ogre. For some reason, she seemed to dislike the way I was looking at her and didn't feed me. So, naturally as one does when faced with an angry cafeteria food troll, I stole a piece of bread and ran. But alas! I was caught running for my life through a maze.

"But," you may question, "Where does Miley come in? Why was she eating dead babies? Why are you telling us about the school?" And to that I pet you on the head and say, "This is my world, and every world needs a good setting."

So, back to the story. Once I managed to find my way through four or five hallways that had changed places, I got back to my room. I realized that the bread I grabbed had turned into an eyeball and apathetically flung it to the side. I opened a book and it turned into a phone, of which none other than my good friend Miley was calling me. It wasn't like a celebrity siting, it wasn't like I was surprised. It was more like we were friends that went way back and she was catching up with me.

She asked if I was busy, which I wasn't now that I had successfully stolen an eyeball lunch, so I said no and invited her over. Once she showed up, it wasn't long before she said she was hungry. I don't remember what I offered her, leftover eyeball perhaps, but she said she brought her own. I idly nodded and went through my book phone as she casually shoveled a gray dust into her mouth.

<Insert image of Miley's tongue out with ashes being scooped onto it here>

Meanwhile, someone posted a link, "MILEY CYRUS AND HER THIRST FOR THE UNBORN: Video" of which I opened and saw a duplicate of what she was currently doing in my room. the article claimed that she saw it as the only fair way to not let the child go to waste and that it was, "Respecting the energy that went into its formation."

I was horrified, and I know this should be the climax of the story, but basically I asked her what she was eating. She told me about word for word what the article did and I ran out screaming, then woke up.

That's the thing about dreams, I guess. If you're scared enough you wake up and the story's over. So, I've added my own ending.

Miley grew twice her size and turned green. She picked up the eye on the ground and stuck it on her head, it was now obvious she was a cyclops in disguise. She ripped the bed post from my bed with a terrible creaking noise and screamed out to the sky, her tongue proudly displayed. She chased after me, for I knew her secret, and thrashed the beautifully decorated Gothic walls down. I was met with a maze, not knowing how long it was, but dove into it. Turn after turn kept my head dizzy as I ran through it, not knowing where the end of it would be. Meanwhile, behind me, a very confused monster looked at the maze. Aha! Monsters, cursed with stupidity, can't figure out puzzles.

Oh, but her brute force won out. She began slashing down the walls with her bed leg club and stomped over the remnants with bloodthirstiness. She gained on me, as I was stuck with the twists and turns of a maze. Suddenly, my savior of the day, my light to the darkness, my hero would appear: The lunch lady. The reason she had collected the eye was because there was a long, bitter past between them and was determined to rid the evil beast of this world. She raised her arms and long strands of spaghetti lifted, twisting around itself. It created tentacles that lashed out in anger.

I threw up onto the ground. I ate that last week! Nonetheless it was saving me today, therapy will eventually help me. They fought an epic, close battle, then the evil Miley Cy-clops fell and I got free lunch for helping coax it out of the darkness.

Have you ever had a weird dream that took you off guard? Let me know!

Please remember this is just a story, a dream. None of these things ever happened.